This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
