She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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