It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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