Walk of Shame. In a state park.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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