Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
worst night to have a conscience
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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