Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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