I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
