She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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