i wish my penis had a tongue
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize