The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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