Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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