I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
