not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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