They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Someone signed my nipple.
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