I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
