I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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