would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize