How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
