just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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