I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize