I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
