He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
