remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize