Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
