Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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