At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
