Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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