Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
