I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
