Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
