just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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