I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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