Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
