He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
