Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
