i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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