U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize