I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
