he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
