Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
