i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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