I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
