I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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