College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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