Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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