dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
