I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
