I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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