I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The adults are the big ones right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
