That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
