My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
