Umm I'm too high to move.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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