his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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