so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
