Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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