i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
