By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize