Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
