Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
