i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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